For the past several weeks our Pastor has been teaching on the DNA of relationships, how we as individuals should express ourselves in relation to another individual, but most importantly he has been teaching on our relationship with God.
Having gone through intense training on relationships during my studies in Psychology/Christian Counseling and the complex challenges that they present, God spoke to me and said, ‘now, think of relationships in the simplest way…starting with your body’. Now this was a challenging thing that God asked of me because I have the tendency to over-analyze rather than keeping things in its simplest form. Simple…it is the simplest things that God creates majestic wonders.
In these last few months of pregnancy walking has become very difficult, particularly due to weight gain and the baby lying on a nerve that limits movement in my right leg…so the right leg, at times, just drags along…leaving the left leg to bear most of the weight. Here, I will paraphrase a passage in 1 Corinthians 12…the left leg cannot say ‘because I am not the right leg I do not have a problem’. On the contrary, the left leg becomes completely consumed in what the right leg has going on because now it has to carry around, compensate, most of the body weight.
1 Corinthians 12:12-26
12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
Without questioning, my left leg immediately began to compensate for the weight of my entire body, it bears this burden day in and day out…it does not say, “if there is anything I can do just call and let me know”, it just do whatever needs to be done. The relationship of these two (the left and right leg) displays reliability and support that says ‘when you are down, I will lift you up’. This relationship that my two legs have should mock the relationship of a true (Christian) friend.
Now, on the other hand, the other night while still not being able to put much pressure on the right leg, my left knee went out…surely, I could have hit the floor, but with my husband standing nearby I grabbed a hold of him and he braces me until I’m able to regain my balance. I realize that my leaning on him was necessary if I was going to remain safe by not taking a tumble to the floor. I depended on him for support…submission to his steady hands.
Many times I have heard and seen individuals who refuse help in this manner because they have not come to the conclusion in their own mind that they actually need help…denial and pride. Typically you see this behavior in older people who are not willingly to admit that the body is not as young as it used to be; and this is probably why they experience more falls in a given year compared to their younger counterparts.
Question…if someone does not understand the relationship of the body, having the ability to clearly identify when they need help and when they do not, how then would they know how to identify needs and be effective in the Christian body? If I were to carry around the attitude, inward expression, that I don’t need physical help when in fact I do, my pride will become an outward expression of ‘I don’t need a relationship with anyone, I’m good all by myself’, which is clearly out of the will of God.
Relationships do not have to be a complex matter, in fact, they are only complex because that’s what we’ve made them to be. In the simplest way of thinking, just as I rely on putting one foot in front of the other to carry me from point A to point B, I should be able to depend on a friend and a friend depend on me just like this.
What would you say are the characteristics of a friend?
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