I must say it used to be a difficult task to love people, I thought "if they don't bother me, I certainly will not bother them"! However, over the years my love has evolved to new heights. It was rather confusing at first as I sought to please everyone that crossed my path, willing to exhaust myself through conditional giving, the kind of giving that looked for something back.
Yes, if I did something for you back then, I expected that you liked me and thought of me to be the best thing since sliced bread...all because of the things I've done for you. In this unhealthy craze-phase, I went through unnecessary emotional ups and downs, particularly when I felt unwanted, unliked, and completely rejected. I quickly learned that I could not buy my self-esteem, no...not even a ticket to popularity. I learned that I did not love myself, otherwise I would not have been so eager to see how many "likes" I got.
When we realize that we are loved by the best, The Lord God Almighty, he helps us to put love in the greatest perspective through his son Jesus. Jesus was available to those who would receive him; he didn't force himself on anyone. In fact, he says let those who want to come, come. He did not remove his love for those who hated him, but it remained in its place (very still) in the event that someone turned back. He was not moved out of sorts when he learned that some rejected him; he continued to BE him (all that he was and is).
Eventually, this supernatural ability to love came upon me, but with respect to the boundaries in the choices people made. Some decided to love, while others were unloving. Someone may say "Valerie, I only want you to come so close". My thought "ok". My ability to love is rich and giving, so sad that one chooses to reject it.
It seems natural for me to love people like I love my family and to care for them in a way that is indistinguishable from my own blood. But, occasionally I meet those that desire a stagnant love, one that says "I'm just happy to know you". They don't want to receive true love, neither do they desire to give it. That stagnation keeps them at a chosen distance...a distance to be respected, but my love remains in the event that you choose to turn back. Sometimes we are guilty of going beyond our inborn ability of kindness and love just to woo others into "liking" us, but the key is to just BE!
We are not Jesus, but we should understand when he says 'come if you want to come', if you don't, that's okay too...he won't love you any less, but he will respect the boundary that you've drawn.
There's a song that says I'm Satisfied with Jesus in My Heart. Be encouraged daily to enjoy the fulfillment of Gods love in your heart. His love is so complete that we don't have to compromise in life just to be loved by someone else. And when it is decided by people to love...this is considered the overflow.
My love is whole and maintained by the love of God, it cannot be moved to and fro by every changing wind of emotions. To BE, means to Love continuously!
1 John 4:8
1 Cor. 8:3
John 12:42-50
1 John 4:19-21