Emotions

Emotions

Can you imagine the inner turmoil that Moses experienced, born a Hebrew, raised in an Egyptian home where riches and treasures were in abundance, nurtured by his Hebrew mother, yet retrieved from the river by the hands of Pharaoh's daughter? Imagine the mixed messages as he tried to discover "who am I?" Deep down he knew who he was, the influence of his Hebrew genes and the nurturing of his mother's touch perhaps caused him to long for a connection to his true roots. But, how does he go about connecting? I'm not sure what the Hebrew people thought of him, but I would guess they saw him as privileged...a Hebrew, yes, but privileged. Moses would have to prove his worth to be recognized as a Hebrew, I would imagine.

Imagine the mixed emotions that he must have felt when he killed the Egyptian who was attacking a Hebrew. But, this was his moment. While I believe that Moses was genuinely moved with deep compassion and concern for his people to the point of forsaking Egyptian riches, I believe this was his moment to identify with his culture and not that of the Egyptians. However, Moses' actions did not elicit the response that he desired from his people; they actually despised him all the more. When he came upon two Hebrews fighting each other he confronted them and urged them not to fight. They responded by asking 'who made you ruler over us...are you going to kill us like you killed the Egyptian?' You would think they would be grateful since they were under such heavy oppression, but not so. Not only did his people discover what he had done, but Pharaoh had learned of his actions as well.

Moses fled to Midian to escape the threats of death; but, isn't it interesting how The Lord caused him to return years later on an assignment to lift the burden of the Hebrews, which is what he initially attempted in his own strength? While Moses seemed to react to his emotional turmoil and handled the situation between the Egyptian and Hebrew in the wrong way, God was now sending him back with instructions on how to free the Hebrews in the right way. God assures Moses that He will teach him what to do and say. As he has this opportunity to set God's people free, his actions will now glorify God; he will not be moved by his own personal agenda. His actions now will be beneficial to many, not just himself.

Like Moses we are often faced with emotional turmoil where we are tempted to react how we feel, whether it is with angry outbursts, tantrums, jealousy, etc. When we miss the mark of responding in a way that is pleasing to God we can rest assure that we will be sent right back until we learn to respond in a selfless manner and in a manner that is pleasing to God.

Exodus 2-4
A Collaboration by Nicholas & Valerie Wilson

Freedom To Live

And my first day at my new job is awesome! Everyone has been willing to lend a hand to help me get settled...communicating updates to my schedule! We had a team meeting and we PRAYED AND ENCOURAGED each other! I am so so thankful! But, there is a lesson in this journey:

There are times when it is necessary to wait on God and there are times when He has given you the freedom to move about, from one place to another place. He has given us a sense of discernment to know when something is not good for us...in my case, it was my last job. 

I have witnessed many people frustrated with their job and refuse to move because they are "waiting on God", but in my case...I knew I had to flee my old job, I had to pursue hard after what was good for me...a job that would appreciate, not exploit or abuse, the gift God has given to me. God gave me that freedom, so I'm never afraid to move. There will be times when you're required to move your feet...you are free to live! "Free to move by quitting your job" does not mean putting your family in jeopardy...I want to be clear. It is possible to endure tough conditions until something becomes available to you and then there may be extreme conditions where you need to flee today...I don't know, but God will let you know!

Understand, that you may be criticized for "quitting" or you may have that fear of being criticized. If that's it, then this is your affirmation: I Am Valuable, an image-bearer of God. I Am Moving Towards Greater, Not Quitting! Why subject yourself to being devalued when God values you greatly? 

There are times when you simply fear heights, fear of the journey and conditions (the work you will have to put in) when treading great heights. If that's you, then this is your affirmation: I Will Not Remain in the Valley as some people desire! I Will Even Stop Defeating Myself with Laziness, Procrastination and Negative Thoughts. I Am a Conqueror in Christ Jesus!

Now, not to say that there won't be challenges on your next job, but at least know whether the next job compliments who you are in God. Jobs should not undermine your quality, but if it does, that job is temporary and you should be already looking for the next one...the right one. Know the difference of challenges, whether you face a hurdle that can be jumped or a pitfall that is designed to take you out. My prayer is that God will help you to see you as He see you and bring you into full knowledge, to know who you are. May He continue to help you in strength, so that you may pursue and press towards your mark! Amen!

THE VICTIM

The Victim

 

A victim has a pretty large window of opportunity to heal and recover from whatever offended them. However, it is just that...a window that is meant to be closed (secured shut) at some point; otherwise there is a constant draft (replay) of the event. This replay causes one to ruminate, have pity parties, withdraw, etc. Now, they are no longer the victim, but the offender. Be careful not to wallow. Just a thought!

Back in Nov. 2012 this thought occurred to me as I was often frustrated with individuals having pity parties. However, recently I found myself on the other end of the spectrum as being the victim, as I was deeply offended by a friend who walked away from me, uttering that she "didn't want to talk to me" after I shared my family's exciting news. While I was ready to cut any ties to our relationship, she called me 5 days later, but I could not pick up the phone. I was not willing to listen to more selfish complaints.

But, then around lunchtime on this particular day I picked up my textbook to go over my reading material for class...I would read 2 pages before I was humbled to the point of deciding to reach back out to this friend. In this book on wellness and wholeness Travis and Ryan (2004) explains that "we see the world through glasses colored by our assumptions and beliefs -- our thoughts about the way things are or should be. The injured party , wearing "glasses" of victimization, can always find scores of clues to reinforce the belief that he or she is being wronged".

In this moment of being hurt, I had assumed that my friend would find the happy medium of joy and sadness. I had assumed that if she felt disappointed or upset that she would be able to express just that, not walk away. One of my biggest pet peeves is the lack of communication in relationships because I am aware that unresolved issues can infect relationships. I expect that everyone should make some effort at communicating, but this is an unrealistic expectation for some cultures. Some cultures forbid the expression of emotions. Particularly, in my culture children are raised to be seen not heard; the message that I gathered was that adults were always right and the child's opinion was extremely limited. I am not sure if this is the case with this young lady, she comes from a different culture.

I have not denied the feelings of hurt and sadness from this experience, I have allowed that sting to pass through me, but now God has challenged me to empathize...to understand what my friend may have been feeling by allowing her the opportunity to express herself however she desired. When she and I finally talked she jokingly called me her "frienemy" (a term used by the younger generation to identify someone who is partly a friend and enemy). It took a lot of energy to laugh with her on that one.

We all have some areas of life that we have perfected or exhibited strength; my area is in communication. This, however, is my friend's area of weakness and The Lord revealed to me that I would have to humble myself and use this moment as an opportunity to allow her to express herself in the way she wanted; that I could not allow this moment to harden me. I believe that God desired to use my strength to help strengthen my friend's weak area. I found that her tone of sadness turned to one of joy after we talked, and she was even more understanding and supportive when she learned of the things that my family suffered in the past 4 years.

God revealed to me that His children turn away from Him all the time, but He changes not. He has legitimate reasons to cut us off but He does not; He stands ready to embrace us when we decide to return to Him. In fact, if anyone could play the role of the victim over a long period of time and get away with it, surely, it would be The Lord. Instead, we see His unconditional love through the prodigal son...a son, who chose to take his inheritance, though it was probably ill-advised, left his father's home and squandered it. We could speculate that his father may have been hurt or disappointed from his son's decision, but when he returned home his father's heart was still tender towards him and embraced him (Luke 15:11-32; 2 Chronicles 7:14, NIV).

While I could have remained comfortable in wallowing in my anger and frustration with my friend, God desired that I was brought to humility; it was not easy (I am a little intellectual firecracker when someone makes me angry -- nice-nasty kind of girl)...I could feel my spirit and flesh warring constantly until I concluded that I do want to be more like Jesus! Embracing my friend with a tender heart allowed God to heal the wounded areas and He is desiring to do the same with you...to help you achieve the balance of humility and strength.

References

Travis, J. W. & Ryan, R. S. (2004). Wellness workbook: How to achieve enduring
health and vitality (3rd e.d.). New York, NY: Celestial Arts.

Single?

To Ponder: The countenance on your face says a lot about your internal state of emotions. Currently, I find myself interceding for those who are single. I have to be especially careful to understand their feelings...some desperate, some anxious, some lonely, feelings of unworthiness and some are simply content and remarkably happy. Whatever the feeling is, it shows on your face. I have met individuals who deeply concern themselves with finding a mate. What I pray is for singles to be extremely CAUTIOUS...your countenance does attract. Desperation, anxiousness, loneliness, and feelings of unworthiness often, though not always, attract individuals who are possessive, controlling, and seek to take advantage of you. Whereas, a content state attracts individuals who respect your being, they realize that they are privileged to have access to your life, they realize that you are whole without them and they come to love you in the same way that you love yourself (understanding that you will not accept anything less). Your outward garments are equally important...they too attract a certain breed. Be CAUTIOUS, even in your attire!