Surrender?
I surrender, though it’s not easy
at times. Wait a minute, do I really?
Life has thrown so many blows…I
can’t seem to catch my breath or feel my feet
I have braced myself situation
after situation, but this one…I can’t take it
I’m praying that it turns out the
way that I am expecting
I want to pray it down the path
that I think is best
Lets face it; to yield again
would be too painful
I fear that I am too
vulnerable…worn and tattered…from previous tribulations
But this one, my mental capacity
to keep it together seems to be slipping
And this one…this situation, I sense it being out of my control, but surrendering
would just be another defeat for me
I mean, what if I become a basket
case, grieving uncontrollably
Tragedies…one after another, I
wonder when do I win? Haven’t I yielded to previous situations?
It just seems pointless
Though grudgingly and not
willingly I still surrendered
Though combatively and not
graciously I still surrendered
Can’t we, this time, go this way and not that way? Yes, even if I
prolong my
frustrations and consequently met
with self-destruction
Right now, I just can’t handle
another disappointment
For once, I want to feel like
life is giving me something
I know that I am stubbornly resisting…contributing
to my own anxieties and discontentment
But this dis-ease seems more comfortable than the pain that this
situation can bring. Don’t You think?
What is it that You want to teach
me?
God: To surrender freely…to show
you that I love you deeply,
That when the things of this world cannot satisfy I will be your
Comforter, your Peace…
To show you that I keep My
promises
That I Am not a man, I cannot
lie…
I want to nurture you to wholeness, and as long as you stay connected
to Me, you will lack nothing.
With Me, you can experience all
of your pain without judgment;
You can become a basket case and
I will continue to fill you.
I will give you more of Me when
you feel emptied.
You can give me this situation
and the next to infinity
and trust that I will keep you.
For I Am your portion. No one and
no thing can fill you with joy and gladness
I Am certain of that
I know you must be wondering why I have you going through these trials
and tribulations.
Know that true surrenderance is
beyond your capacity to control your situations.
Surrendering to Me reluctantly, hesitantly, grudgingly, and with
animosity only puts a wall between us.
You become angry because you feel forced to give up something, rather
than surrendering freely, graciously and joyfully, and trusting that you can
cast your cares upon Me.
It’s the attitude of your surrenderance that keeps you re-visiting
situations like this one.
I Am testing your faith.
Are you truly willingly to lose
your life for Me, or are you trying to save it?
Come to Me and let Me care for
you.
I Am your Refuge, a place to hide
when you are vulnerable.
I will not allow you to be overtaken by the enemy or allow you to
strike your foot against a stone. I will protect, you see?
You are My daughter (My Son) and I Am your God. I want to escort you to
destiny.
