Surrender?

Surrender?

I surrender, though it’s not easy at times. Wait a minute, do I really?

Life has thrown so many blows…I can’t seem to catch my breath or feel my feet

I have braced myself situation after situation, but this one…I can’t take it

I’m praying that it turns out the way that I am expecting

I want to pray it down the path that I think is best

Lets face it; to yield again would be too painful

I fear that I am too vulnerable…worn and tattered…from previous tribulations

But this one, my mental capacity to keep it together seems to be slipping

And this one…this situation, I sense it being out of my control, but surrendering would just be another defeat for me

I mean, what if I become a basket case, grieving uncontrollably

Tragedies…one after another, I wonder when do I win? Haven’t I yielded to previous situations?

It just seems pointless

Though grudgingly and not willingly I still surrendered

Though combatively and not graciously I still surrendered

Can’t we, this time, go this way and not that way? Yes, even if I prolong my

frustrations and consequently met with self-destruction

Right now, I just can’t handle another disappointment

For once, I want to feel like life is giving me something

I know that I am stubbornly resisting…contributing to my own anxieties and discontentment

But this dis-ease seems more comfortable than the pain that this situation can bring. Don’t You think?

What is it that You want to teach me?

God: To surrender freely…to show you that I love you deeply,

That when the things of this world cannot satisfy I will be your Comforter, your Peace…

To show you that I keep My promises

That I Am not a man, I cannot lie…

I want to nurture you to wholeness, and as long as you stay connected to Me, you will lack nothing.

With Me, you can experience all of your pain without judgment;

You can become a basket case and I will continue to fill you.

I will give you more of Me when you feel emptied.

You can give me this situation and the next to infinity

and trust that I will keep you.

For I Am your portion. No one and no thing can fill you with joy and gladness

I Am certain of that

I know you must be wondering why I have you going through these trials and tribulations. 

Know that true surrenderance is beyond your capacity to control your situations.

Surrendering to Me reluctantly, hesitantly, grudgingly, and with animosity only puts a wall between us.

You become angry because you feel forced to give up something, rather than surrendering freely, graciously and joyfully, and trusting that you can cast your cares upon Me.

It’s the attitude of your surrenderance that keeps you re-visiting situations like this one.

I Am testing your faith.

Are you truly willingly to lose your life for Me, or are you trying to save it?

Come to Me and let Me care for you.

I Am your Refuge, a place to hide when you are vulnerable.

I will not allow you to be overtaken by the enemy or allow you to strike your foot against a stone. I will protect, you see?

You are My daughter (My Son) and I Am your God. I want to escort you to destiny.